Well... the new job panned out, for which I am grateful. Mostly. It's worth it for the pay, at least for now. There is no way I can do this kind of thing for the rest of my life though. I already feel like I'm only half-alive.

Yeah yeah, I know the perfect job is a myth. But I don't think I'm supposed to be miserable as a working woman, either. Working for the State has its advantages. However, since I don't know how to do much of anything around here yet, and those who are supposed to be training me are busy, I spend at least half my workday trying to look like I'm working without doing anything wrong. And I hate it! You'd think permission to be lazy would be fun; but I would much rather be busy from 8 to 5 than sit here for hours doing nothing. We have internet privileges (obviously) but, as is usually the case in large organizations, the practical reality is somewhat different than official policy; so I do my internet surfing only half-legally. I despise the double standard. I detest feeling like I have to look over my shoulder all the time to make sure nobody's watching while I do what I'm supposed to be allowed to do anyway. It's ridiculous. What a beautiful day it will be when members of Generation Digital become the movers and shakers of business, and policy regarding internet use becomes more realistic.

So... yeah. I don't know how long I'll be in computers. But now I know that desk jobs in cubicle-land just aren't my cup of tea. If I have to be employed for the rest of my working years, it had better be doing something I at least half-enjoy.